The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
