It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
