I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
