I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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