i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize