You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
