the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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