On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
