his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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