fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
