it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
