No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize