I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
