Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
