Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
