Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
