I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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