New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Oh god it's open bar.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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