new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
