The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize