Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Terrible idea I love it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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