the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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