That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
