i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
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