just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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