Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He passed out mid-signature
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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