whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
