but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
