i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
