I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
