Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
