just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
