You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
