You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize