i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's official drugs can't kill me
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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