I'm lost and stupid without you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
