I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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