A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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