She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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