Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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