I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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