She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
