Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize