JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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