It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize