I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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