You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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