You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
