she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
