pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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