Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
