she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
