this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize