I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
