Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
