Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
