My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
