I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
